1. Long-time sulking
Releasing your anger is proven emotionally and psychologically healthy – everyone needs a relief.
Researchers have discovered that the physiological changes brought on by anger increases blood flow to the part of the brain that generates happiness in men, stimulating what is called ‘motivational direction’. – Men’s Health
However, prolonged anger results in nothing but worse outcomes. When you let your ego reign over your logic and heart – you tend to hurt people, as well as yourself.
GROW UP and release your anger healthily. Address the problem to your partner, then set an ‘angry alarm’ to remind yourself you shouldn’t be angry for more than, say, 6 hours. In the occasion of you bursting out of anger to your partner to compensate the hidden pressures you get from other parties, explain and let your partner help calm you down after a few rants.
2. The ex-files
They are called the exes for they are no longer relevant to you in the present. Our past partners have indirectly shaped who we are today, but they should remain nothing more than that.
Keeping romantic photos and sending presents every year for your ex’s birthday could hurt your current partner. The question that might then pop up will be: “Does she think her ex is better than me?”
“As a celebrant, I perform divorce ceremonies that are celebrations of closure and the beginning of a new life.” Dr Sarah Stedman.
GROW UP and realize that divorces and breakups are of one core: separation with a loved one. Hence, once you are separated – whether or not you remain friends, make sure you know the boundaries and priorities to maintain your present relationships.
3. Empty promises
‘I will do the dishes in a minute!’ ‘We are going to the movie this
Saturday’, (insert more promises) and you have 10 promises to keep
before you know it.Sometimes the intention is sincere – we want to make our partners happy. But then again, we forget to consider other commitments before making a promise.
Public relations practitioners strive to make a product look distinctive, that sometimes they forget reality checks.
GROW UP and treat promises in your relationships as if you are a realistic marketing officer, analyzing dreamy projects. After a while, you can loosen up because you already know by heart which promises should and should not be made. A definite bi-weekly movie date night seems more realistic than an ambitious twice a week. *wink*
4. Gossip Girls
Five seasons and counting – the series keeps rolling on a single premise: gossips. Sure, it is therapeutic to talk to your friends about your relationship issues, but choose the topics and issues wisely.
For sensitive and intimate issues like sexual life, it is best to keep it as personal as possible. If you ever need advice, go to your trusted friends or opt for counselors.
GROW UP! As unpretentious a person that you are, you never know when people decide to make use of your personal information for their own benefits. What is just as important is that you have shown respect to your partner and relationship by keeping what’s personal, personal.
5. Sweep it all under the rug
People are well-loved for their strong investments in relationships. They are nurturing, affectionate, and considerate. Those positive traits, however, sometimes cost them for they don’t address issues in relationships because confrontations hurt them – their emotional beings as well as their egos.
Showing understanding when your partner works late soothes his tired mind. However, if he doesn’t even have time to ask how your day was for a long period of time – it’s time to have a talk with him.
“To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive – to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before.” – Rollo May
No matter what ‘type’ of person you are, GROW UP and open your eyes to the fact that delayed problems are bigger problems.
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